I have been working at Sanger Computer Services, or more accurately, with Mark Ford. In talking with him, he asked what it was exactly that I wanted to do in life. Career. Nothing more. I simply told him what was on my heart.
I want to inspire teen girls to live a life in obedience to God. This may take place in any true form. I desire to have a positive impact in the lives of other teen girls, as so many women have been influential in my own. Upon hearing this Mark informed me that he had encouraged another member of CTC's youth to blog in order to spread their [amazing] talent in photography. Likewise, he suggested that I do the same. No I will not be sharing an amazing talent, but I just might be able to tell of the Amazing Father that I have.
After a couple of weeks, I became aware of how many things God reveals to me in the simplest of ways -- these things however, often go unshared. I determined that I would, indeed, create a blog. What better way to share those small things that are, in my mind and heart, meant to be shared.
Next, in this process of mine, I had to actually create the blog. What would it be named definitely came to mind. I thought... and thought. I prayed. It was a simple prayer; something along the lines of, "Lord, what would you have me name this blog. Amen." Nothing special. Then came the name Faith In The Making. What?!? ( I should mention, right about now, that I have used the name Living Proof since about a year after accepting Christ as my
personal Lord and Savior.)
Why this name? What was this name suppose to mean to me?
And God said nothing.
I used it, regardless of the lack of reason. I created the blog now what.
And God said nothing.
Friday night I decided, randomly, that I would attend a fellowship event being hosted by an elder at Cross Timber Church. I arrived as they were about to begin worship--perfect timing! As we were led into the first song, I could not deny God's presence, and I knew my own presence was not random in the eyes of my Lord. I just did not, yet, know why. Nor at this point did I believe there was an actual 'why'; at this point, I was enjoying being love on and loving on the almighty God.
We finished out worship (and I had successfully managed not to cry) and entered a time of study. I sat an listened to the Elder, he showed us how having an orphaned spirit hinders us from having the highest level of intamincy with the Father. That began touching on something I did not know quite how to handle. Of course, I have the head knowledge that God, my papa, loves me, and I know he desires me to be closer to Him. Of course, I
know that.
I desire to spend time with him and I desire to trust him.
The study soon ended. A prophetic vision was shared of healing and the elder asked if anyone was in need of healing--his wife was. Her hip had been bugging her for a few weeks; thus, causing her to sleep on the couch. After she had been prayed for we chatted a lil' bit and then it was asked if anyone else was in need of prayer. The wife turned to me and made mention that I might want prayer for my financial situation regarding college.
I was certainly not about to reject prayer, especially prayer that I did not even have to ask for! I proceeded to share what was going on, which did start financially, but that was just the top layer and began to let my mouth speak to much. Before I knew it I had already shared enough to leave myself completely vulnerable to rejection, condemnation, and complete humiliation.
As the eight began to pray, God revealed it all. Every part of that which hindered our relationship was in the open. The walls I built had to come down, and came down in nothing but tears. Then God began to use those around me to encourage me and show me God's heart. That God does not rate my performances, instead He says, "well done thy good and faithful servant." As I began to listen to the wisdom in the room I realized that those at this meeting could have every reason to laugh, critize, and reject me. They did not do that at all. Several spoke words of encouragment over me and one woman felt led to wash my feet. How embarrasing? My feet that night were absolutely filthy. I had not thought twice about my feet that day because I knew they would be washed when I showered that night. The lady who had been kneeled infront of me, at my feet, humbly washed my feet. Even after I warned her of the state that they were in. Someone who had heard my comment said that the only part of me that God saw was dirty was my feet! How incredible was that!
As my feet were being purified another Elder spoke and said he was given a word for me but he was not going to reveal it. No. He wanted me to listen to God and discover for myself what God wanted to tell me. I sat not knowing how I would figure this puzzle out and began to pray. Again, tears fell. I began to pray--ignoring those in the room. When I looked up I knew that I was being watched for a reaction. Those who sat in anticipation wore compassionate smilesand were sincerely eager to hear what I woudd say. They sincerely cared!!! I responded to the elder that the Lord just wanted to tell me that I was pure and beatiful in his sight; regardless of how I saw myself. He said that is basically what he too had gotten. Except, I noted, that he included the word princess as he spoke.
Other words came but one that definately caught my attention was one who said that God wanted me to trust him. To curl up in His lap and simply allow myself to be loved. He finished by saying that this would take faith and that it would take time as that faith grew.
Bingo!!! Faith in the Making...
How awesome is the father that loves me unconditionally? Who loves me despite the outcome of my performances. How awsome is my Lord, Jesus Christ?
